The Blog of fairmaiden

the date  15th oct 2008

i am  43 today  geesh  i dont mind getting older

but  why is  it every  single  year  get  sick

 oh it is getting   bad  last year it was a cold

this  year    real bad    (skits)  dihorea  ewww  and  i

have had  enough  so  i am  giveing up on my birthday

i  will get older  i dont mind that  but getting illl  

no thanks  its  supposed to be  a good  day

 ha  ha  ha  ha   i am stuck in doors   even  with takeing

 imodium  i am  scared to go far from the loo   oh someone tell

me  who i  peeved  off   to  get this every year  for the last five  years 

 i have been  sick on my birthday     so   now  i am haveing no more birthdays

its   not i  dont  want to be  older  i do  i just  dont want to be sick   on the  day   just once

 please  please :)

hello  all 

well here it is   a few weeks ago a  i met man

and  we have  gotten to know him and things were

going well and well we have decided to give it a whurl

romance wise its feels so  wonderful .

to know  he is in my life i  am not a religous  person

but i really thank  who ever brought me this  wonderful person into my life

i really love him  its  so  i am  really  happy

now   i wanted to  share this with you all

went to dentist today  for a emergancy lots of tooth ache

when i get there i fill in forms and wait  when i go the  in  he looks at

pianful tooth and exclames its ababy tooth (eek) and it has to come out as its causeing damage to my tounge and lord but is that  sore so he gives me two needles i wait  five minuets and back in 

all of  two  min later am out again it took me longer to sit down than for him to remove the thing  oh well at least its  done  i didnt even  cry:)

the stranger who seid he loved me  well

 i was walking my dogs and was  returning home and wow

there he was  so i  stopped  asked him his name  its brandon

and he lives with his sick mother  and also he appologized for

blurting out that he loved me  although he  would like to get to

know me more i am not so  sure he is a drinker and i have a phobia 

that involves face ahir and he does have some  i like him

and he is  sweet  but i am  affraid also  because of the face

hair its taken

every ounce of  strength i had to just ask his name

 and chat to him  i was shakeing the whole time   and when he asked why

 i really didnt want to tell him that his face hair scared  me silly  as he is  such a sweetheart

what do i do what do i do

whilst sitting    readin  blogs today

i thought i heard a knock at my door i must have been mistaken because 

there was none there   am i going mad  i ask myself  frequently

but my reply is always yes how  do i stop myself being so alone and sad

i have tryed  being out and walking my dogs and it only helps whilst out

as  soon as i return home  i start feeling low  and  sad i know its to be expected

after aloss  but i feel so angry to that not good  i really feel like screaming loudly

why does it always rain when i need to

take my dogs out for  a walk  and stop when i get

home grrr feel someone  up there hates me i am socked

four times today did  anyone  else get wet today?

being alone is  scarey  i lost my husband in april

and i am alone  my animals

and some days i dont want to get out of bed

and do anything but cry i for  ages i miss  my husband so

much it hurts i am sure i can go on but how is  something i

am not sure about but if you guys feel  or have anything you want to

share i listen real good  i miss conversation i promise i dont bite

but i am a complete nutter :)